As a naturally anxious person, I struggle with the idea of mind over matter because that’s not something that comes easily to me. My mind runs my ship and the waters I sail are often rocky. My thoughts snowball out of control so fast.
For the first couple months of this year, my focus has been retraining my brain to change my train of thought from negative to positive. I won't tell you that it's easy, because it's not. It is something that I have to actively do every single day. I am literally fighting against the natural thought waves that I've had for almost 30 years. Mindfulness might not be a new concept to you, but it is a work in progress for me. This is the first time I have been able to control my own thoughts, or at the very least not have my thoughts control me.
Last week, I was in New York for the first time ever on a solo business trip, which is the kind of thing that used to terrify me. A new city? Traveling alone? Sleeping alone in a hotel room? So many things could go wrong! The plane could crash. I could get lost. I could get kidnapped. I could get stranded. The possibilities were always endless in my mind, however with some (extreme) mental coaching, this is now the type of thing that I look at as an adventure rather than an opportunity for disaster. And you know what? I had a great time. Did things go wrong? YOU BETCHA. But did it ruin my trip? NO. By changing my thought process, I am opening myself up to new experiences that I normally would have shied away from.
As I work through this new mindset, I've learned two fundamental things. One, I like myself! Truly. If I met me, I would want to be friends with me, and while that may sound like a no-brainer to you, self confidence and self love is another area that I struggle with. Second, I am fun to hang out with! While in Up-State NY, I of course had to go see and do things alone. I never do that! I can count on one hand the number of times I have eaten a meal or gotten a drink alone, and all of them have been at my neighborhood bar where I know everyone there, so it (almost) doesn't even count.
My second night in Buffalo, I tried going to the original Anchor Bar - Home of the Original Buffalo Chicken Wing. After sitting for over ten minutes at the bar, with no one coming to greet me, bring me a drink, etc. I couldn't handle it anymore, and I got up and walked out, cried in the car on the drive back to my hotel room, where I bunkered down in bed alone with room service and the shades drawn shut, watched a sappy movie, text all of my besties for support, and allowed myself the night to wallow. Flash forward to Friday, and I had worked up the courage to go see Niagara Falls. Alone. I drove there in rush hour, made it safe & sound and spent over an hour by myself taking in the view. At one point, the couple next to me asked me "Are you here alone? By yourself?" "Yes!" I happily responded, "I am here for work and couldn't pass up the chance to see The Falls." And in that moment, it hit me. The me from a year ago would have never done that! What if people knew I was alone? (GASP!) What if? What if? What if?
Well you know what? What if I go, see something incredible, and make such an impact on the people around me that they ask to take a picture with me, saying I look too happy not to capture it?
So, I advise you to go do it. Go do the thing that terrifies you. You might just make a magical memory while doing so.
