Looking back on my childhood, I was trying to live an Instagram-worthy life before Instagram was even a thing. Ok, so maybe it wasn't fueled by Instagram, but rather an over-active imagination that liked to pretend I was living in front of an audience or staring in a movie.
Seriously, as far back as I can remember, there has been an audience in my mind. Watching me, following me, sharing in my experiences, and critiquing me as well. (So when you hear me say I'm my own worst critic, just know it's not JUST me...)
I can remember walking down Oak Street in Buchanan, MI to sit down by McCoy Creek, as my "scenic backdrop" where I would sit and contemplate my feelings. I could always picture myself sitting there crying thinking "How picturesque!" Only, in the few blocks it took to get there, I would already be over whatever it was that was bothering me. That left me just sitting at the creek-bed, letting my mind wander...
Flash forward to now, and I'm doing the same thing!
This last week, I was in Utah for another work trip, and I spent almost every evening in the mountains, taking in the sights. On one particular day, I was in a rotten mood. All I wanted was to curl up in my king-sized hotel bed, drink some wine, and wallow. Thanks to my husband's pep talk, I forced myself out for a hike in the mountains, with the assumption that the fresh air and sunshine would cheer me up, and that maybe I could sweat out the bad feelings. (Hey, a girl can hope!)
Here's how the hike went:
"I do NOT want to do this...." "I do not want to be hiking right now." "It's hot, it's so hot, I'm so tired, I don't want to do this." "Oh man, this is a steep climb!" "I am so upset, I don't want to be outside hiking right now!" "Oh, look at these wildflowers! I should take a picture of them." "Gosh, those flowers are so pretty!" "Gosh, this hike is so steep!" "I need to turn on some pump-up music to get me up this mountain!" "Oh, this is the perfect song for what I'm feeling right now." "Gah, I don't want to listen to this sad song, I need something more upbeat!" "Oh, careful of the falling rocks!" "Now this song is better; let's pick up the pace!"
And before I knew it, after that internal talk (we all do that, right??), I was at the top of a mountain, with a spectacular view, feeling so thankful to be there, that I was no longer sad or upset.
That's when it hit me -- Being out in nature isn't what makes people feel better... It's the distraction, the beauty, the breeze, the view. So from now on, when I'm upset, I will gladly do what I always rolled my eyes at -- Go outside to get some fresh air, pump out some endorphins, and get over it.
I had lost a lot that day, but I gained a memory, a permanent brain picture that would keep me company for a long, long time; longer than I will likely be sad about my losses.
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It probably also helps that Disney princesses are always seen in nature, singing a song, with a smile on their face.
(I do feel obliged to point out that a tiny bit of information I found online that said the frontal lobe, aka the part of our brains that become hyper-engaged in modern life, deactivates a little when out in nature.)