2018 was quite a year for me. It was a year of many changes - both good and bad - self enlightenment, loss, gain, personal growth... not to mention major changes in my friend circle.
I rang in the New Year at home, on my couch, with my husband, puppy, brother and his pregnant wife. It was quiet and casual, and since I was just getting back from a long vacation and 14 or so hours in the car, it was perfect.
2018 started on a high note. Literally. I had what I now know was a manic episode, and was soon after diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever gone through and certainly was a life changer.
This year is ending on a high note too, but in a different sort of way. Earlier in December, my husband and I bought & moved into our first house. It has brought me a sense of calm and has left me feeling very grounded, which is really necessary after events of earlier this year.
Before the chaos, I went into 2018 with a solid focus. I wanted to become a better version of myself. Looking back, I guess maybe hitting rock bottom was the final push I needed to make the changes that I needed and hoped for.
I don't want to focus on the bad times, though I will circle back to it later, as it's a huge part of my life and deserves some reflection. Instead, I want to head into 2019 with the positives. So, here is a non-inclusive list of my 2018 resolutions turned achievements:
* I STARTED A BLOG! (Obviously.) This is something I have thought about for years and finally decided to take the leap! I'm not sure where this blog will take me... It seems that my followers are fizzling out, but really, I did this for myself, so I guess that's ok. This is where I break down what happens in my life, come to the root of my feelings, and process things. As long as I am getting something out of it, I might as well keep going.
* I stopped putting people first who put me last (sort of...) -- It's still a work in progress, but I have made huge strides to putting into a relationship the same energy that I'm given.
* I worked on my honesty -- I was very open with my feelings, both with myself and with others. It's helped me to understand that negative feelings are just as worthy of discussion as positive ones are.
* I let go of people in my life who didn't add any positives -- Something I've needed to do for years. It was a process. It was hard, emotional, and sad. It wasn't in one fell swoop, and it also wasn't permanent in every case, but it's helped me to see what I want out of friendships, relationships, etc - and if I'm not getting what I want out of it, then it's time to move on. I no longer want to fill my life with people who add no value. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY
* I learned to do a smokey eye -- While this might be a small thing to you, I've tried for years and finally nailed it, as all of my Snapchat selfies can show.
* I started going to the gym and started a new workout/diet program that works really well - and lost weight, dropped clothing sizes, and had people notice, which is just as important as the fact that I felt better about my body.
* I met all of my goals I set for my career -- I networked, work on projects at a corporate level, earned bonuses, received recognition from my supervisors and other execs in the company, and maintained good report with my clients.
While way messier and harder than anticipated, the end of 2018 has me about where I set out to be... Enclosed in a small circle of people who mean well and treat me well, more in-tune with myself, and with an overall sense of peace and clarification. I hope to continue this into 2019 (without the hiccups) and come out as an even better person, friend, and wife.
Tonight I will be out, listening to live music, and dancing with my husband and friends. I hope that’s a sign of good times to come.
Happy New Year, friends! What are your 2019 hopes and wishes? Comment below!
