17 years of friendship, laughs, struggles, marriage, divorce, babies and just like that, it was over.
Dear you,
17 years of friendship, laughs, struggles, marriage, divorce, babies and just like that, it was over. You know pieces of me I never gave others the chance to know, secrets I could never share, and pain only you could save me from. Every day I wake up praying this is a bad dream, praying someone will jump out and say this was all a joke. Turns out the joke was our friendship.
We have been attached at the hip since our middle school days. I felt as if you were a part of my family, a permanent fixture in my life. My low moments were always brought up by encouraging words and reminders of my strength, shared by you. I'd like to tell you that it doesn't hurt, that I'll get over it, but letting those words slip from my lips would be a lie.
You chewed me up and spit me out as if I was a total stranger who is not worthy of your respect. I say the words over and over to remind myself that this is real. My feelings, my dignity, my unwavering trust in you; none of it mattered. This time last year, my world was spinning out of control. You were there to hold my hand and bring me back down. Little did I know, a short year later you would be the reason for the extra pain and stress that has ripped through my life like a tornado. Selfish. When you learned what you could do with my trust and gullible heart, you ran wild with it. No remorse, no understanding of the unbelievable plague of despair you willingly unleashed upon me.
No words could ever be enough. I speak and I feel as if I am speaking of another's life. Did you think I wouldn't find out? Or did you think that I would let you blatantly walk all over me? You have pushed me for years to stand up for myself, how does it feel knowing I finally am? Only I am guessing this isn't the way you hoped. It's so easy for you to put the blame on others for your shitty life altering decisions, it's what you have always done. It's never your fault. It's truly amazing how easily you can lie to someone's face with so much emotion. I think you even believe it yourself. A con artist: that's the best word to describe you. Guess this is what they call the long con.
Was it all worth it? Is this what you wanted to hear? Well, you won. You played me for a fool. Every inch of trust I worked so incredibility hard for has been sucked out of my soul: bitter and broken.
Thank you for betraying me, This harsh reality has taught me so much, most of all that I never knew you at all. Lastly, you taught me that no matter the situation, the only one who has your back is yourself.
Sincerely,
A girl you used to know.