Have you ever wished that someone else could tell you what to do? In stressful situations, I often find myself wishing there was a way for me to know the right thing to do. But, no matter where you look, I'm afraid that there is no rule book for life. Damnit!
So then what do you do?
You gain experience and knowledge, gather opinions and ideas to formulate your own decision. You may even turn to people who are older or who you know have gone through similar situations to see what worked (or didn't) for them. But, life is not a "one shoe fits all" kind of thing.
Part of that is that there are many options or paths to take, and not everyone chooses to react the same way, even if their situations are similar. Some people react more emotionally, some are more rash than others, and some always think things over before they react.
I've never really been the type of person who asks for advice... I might say things like "what would you do if..." but I don't ever say "what should I do?" Part of that is I know that how I feel about a situation right then and there will change once I've processed it and mulled over it. I'm also stubborn and don't want someone else to tell me what to do. Generally in these situations, I am just wondering what they would do in that situation, which sometimes is the exact opposite of what I decide upon. That's where things seem to get messy... Just because someone asks for your advice or opinion of a situation does not mean that they are required to take your advice. But people seem to get offended when you do things differently. I hear things like "why bother asking?" Well... because. Maybe how you would react isn't something I had even considered. Maybe your suggestion made mine seem unreasonable. Maybe it helped me to see that I was being irrational. There are so many reasons. There is also the fact that whoever is asking for advice is almost always biased. You are rarely the bad guy in your own story, and that's fine... but that's not always truthful. In the heat of the moment, many of us will downplay our role in the issue or exaggerate the details. It's not done maliciously; it comes from a place of wanting other people to understand us, agree with us, and take our side on things.
Lately I've been finding myself backtracking on a big decision that I made. And you guys, people are not taking the news very well. You see, once you vent to someone or ask for their help, they become emotional invested in the situation themselves and often feel that they deserve to have an opinion on it, even after you've made your decision. But here's the thing, things change... Things like "I will always love you" or "I will never forgive you" are lies, even if you don't mean them to be. We can't see into the future, and we don't know how our feelings may evolve or change. And our feelings will. A lot. Feelings aren't black and white, and they don't run in a straight line. There are highs and lows, and gaps, and holes, and peaks and valleys.
Humans are very reactionary, and we are impulsive. Think of when someone says something to you with an obvious attitude, how often do you snap something back, because that's your first instinct? If you're like me, it's often. I've been making a conscious effort to not answer anger with anger, but it's such a quick defense that comes automatically that it happens more often than I mean it to.
If you've ever given me advice or your take on a situation, I thank you. Just because I didn't do what you said, doesn't mean you offered no help. But really, at the end of the day, no one knows what's best for you more than yourself. It sometimes just takes a while to get to the right decision. Sometimes you might even shock yourself. You may forgive the unforgivable, or cut someone out of your life that you vowed to always keep in it. There's no place for absolutes in life.
Ultimately, I have two mantras. One is following this golden rule: "Don’t make a promise when you are happy, don’t reply when you are angry, and don’t decide when you are sad." Other than that, my only advice on life is to do what feels right. You don't owe anybody else an explanation.